Conflicting messages are what we are all being bombarded with
when it comes to today’s entertainment industry. Film is an art form and art is
supposed to reflect real life. Screenwriters and authors write stories, which
most times are not entirely fictional, even if that is the genre. Most of these
“stories” have a hint or more of a personal life occurrence that the writer or
someone they know has experienced. So the age old question remains, does art imitate
life or does life imitate art?
I have been watching a lot of Sex and the City lately, so
please forgive me for the examples that will be used, but on a complete side
note I only have one more season to go before I can say that I have seen the entire
series…yay for me…finishing what I start…lol. Now back to my point.
Cheating is wrong. Obviously! Right?
Every movie or show we watch proves this fact, or does it?
In some scenarios it does. Take Tyler Perry’s movie “Temptation” for example.
This beautiful, smart, successful, happily married woman who has a wonderful
adoring husband decides to cheat on him with a more “successful” man. Due to
her actions the cheatee ends up being a crazy HIV infected abusive a-hole and
the aforementioned adulterating woman ends up alone with the HIV. This is clearly
an extreme example of how cheating is portrayed as wrong, now let’s look at the
alternative.
Grey’s Anatomy, Friends, Gossip Girl and Sex and the City,
what do all of these shows have in common other than the fact that I love them
all? Cheating, that’s what!
Interesting twist, they each offer cheating that is
completely understandable and even justifiable. Allow me to explain.
Each heroine from these shows has found herself in this
situation. After years of building a back and forth relationship with the woman’s
“soulmate”, each woman is put in some kind of cheating situation, but as
viewers we don’t even get mad at them for this. Why? Cheating is wrong, right?
Meredith becomes the “dirty mistress” in her steaming love affair
with a married McDreamy, but when his wife Addison cheated on him with the oh
so hot Dr. Sloan she was definitely in the wrong, no question about that.
However, when Mer and Derrick do it, as an audience we wanted them to, we
expected it. It had to happen for the show to go on.
The “we were on a break” story line from Friends. Ross
cheats on Rachel and we hate him for it. Rachel constantly gets in the way of
him and his relationships by making Ross cheat (not necessarily with sex, but
emotional cheating occurs for sure) and we get it. It doesn’t even come up on
our radar that she is the other woman because how can she be the “other” when
we know she is the “one”?
Gossip Girl character Blair Waldorf finds herself in a crazy
love triangle between her Parisian prince and her beloved Chuck Bass. Before we
know that the prince is a putz we empathize with him as a viewer, but
ultimately struggle with the back and forth relationship of Chuck and Blair for
all six seasons of the show. Cheating is just anecdotal drama needed for the
show. We know Chuck and Blair will be together because they have to be.
Then of course there is the Big mistake made by Carrie
Bradshaw on Sex and the City. The Big affair. This is when Carrie is dating the
perfect boyfriend one could ask for Aiden, but somehow still ends up hooking up
with her ex manfriend Mr. Big who is married to a twenty-something year old
named Natasha. Viewers were pissed-ish at Carrie for doing this, but not long
enough to hate her because we understood that it was a force of nature that
drew her into the arms of Mr. Big and that my friends is what we refer to as
fate.
These characters that we have emotionally invested in and
see so much of ourselves in, make this horrendous mistake and we forgive them
because we know they were unexplainably drawn to this other person, so in
actuality it wasn’t their fault. They had to either cheat on or cheat with to
get their man back, right?!
Do we believe this to be true in our own lives? These plot
lines do not try to justify whoring around, but to be the cheater or the
cheatee with that one special person…is that OK? Do we have one free pass if it
is our great love and if so will this keep us from the damnation and judgment
of others?
So ladies and gentleman, the question on the table today is…do
you think it is OK to cheat if and only if it is for the sole purpose in
completing our life’s story? Is it ever justifiable to partake in this specific
act of defiance?
Obviously if you cheat you will not necessarily end up with
AIDS and death (but you may).
Is it possible that we know we are chasing after
our soul mate when we do cheat? How do we know that this particular individual
is our special someone?
The problem is the media has blurred the lines between right
and wrong, what some see as black and white can also be seen through shades of
grey.
We love Meredith Grey, Rachel Green, Blair Waldorf and Carrie Bradshaw,
we as women see ourselves in them. So is it alright if our Derrick, Ross, Chuck
or Mr. Big are currently with someone else that we try to get them back. Is the
flirting, tempting and emotional relationship on the side acceptable? Is this
cheating different from other circumstances of adultery? Would we even define what we are doing as cheating?
There is no denying that there are certain people in this
world that we are drawn to without any explanation. The very essence of their
being somehow completes and consumes us. We have had this man in our lives in
some kind of capacity for some time, so there is now history there, which only
further affirms our notion of purposeful passion and dare I say it, true love.
If we find that they are somehow in a relationship with
another woman, is it reasonable for us to take matters into our own hands and
still have a relationship with this man? Is it alright if we are doing it for
the sake of “true love” or because we are “supposed to end up with them?”
We are the lead woman, and the heroine of the story of our
life, so I believe we make sense of it to others and to ourselves because it
has made sense in the aforementioned situations. We are not the type of women
who would cheat, but many find that they are the type that will push limits and
bend rules to get the man that they are destined to be with back, but how do we
know that he is that man?
I ask these questions and pass no judgment, but I would love
to hear your responses. I myself have found myself in some questionable
situations at times, so I assure that calling you out for your answers,
whichever way you believe is not my intention. I simply would love to hear your
thoughts on the topic. Just some food for thought, until next time…
Love Always,
Cassandra B.
“The Other C.B.”
