Here is the story of me and my darling baby Bentley Boo (yes
that is his middle name). When I first graduated from grad school, I moved back
to Tahlequah to take an adjunct teaching position at NSU. The problem was, it
was September and the semester I would begin teaching wasn’t until January, so
I went ahead and went back so I could get settled and knew I would need another
job anyway, so figured I could go ahead and get a head start on the process. So
I stayed with my sister Marissa for a little bit while I looked for my own
place. 
The first night I got to her house I happened to see this
little black and white fur ball sitting on the ground curled up in a blanket
next to the couch. I immediately picked him up and asked her how long she had
had him and where she got him from. She told me at the time that she had only
had him a couple of weeks that his name was Harley and she found him in the
Wal-Mart parking lot (by found she meant purchased). He was the absolute cutest thing I had ever seen.
I began working at my old college job, which was where my
sister worked too, but she was working nights and I was working days. At night
when I would come home I would pick him up and take him to bed with me. Marissa
had other dogs, but he was the one I liked. He was teeny tiny, fluffy and
snuggley…which is 100% right up my ally. After staying with Marissa for a few
weeks I finally found a house, but was sad that I was going to have to leave my
new fur ball friend.
In the few weeks of staying with her I had also changed
Harley’s name to Bentley, because he just didn’t look like a Harley to me (it
was between Sloan, Armani and Bentley, unless you're Corey, in which case his name has always been Spartacus…obviously however, Bentley won). I think Marissa
got that he was my puppy soul mate so she told me to go ahead and take my dog.
MY DOG, he was mine, my very first and I loved him. See Bentley and I didn’t
just happen to come together…he picked me and clearly loved me the most. I was
his mommy and his person.
My little Boo Boo Bear and I moved out and settled in at our
new home. Over the next four years my baby boy became my life. He was the
greatest comfort to me when my mom died, and made it possible for me to get
through that juncture in my life. He would be so excited when I would come home
and would not stop his excitement until I would pick him up and kiss him on his
head and tell him how much I had missed him while I had been gone that day.
Bentley would sleep right next to me every single night and cuddle up with me
on the sofa on the weekends. He made me feel like I was his entire world and it
was the best feeling to know that something out there truly loved me that much.
People made jokes about how ridiculous I was with my dog,
but they just didn’t understand that he was my heart. I didn’t consider him a
dog at all. I considered him a person, which in retrospect means that he too
considered himself a person, which wasn’t necessarily appreciated by all. When
I was away from him he would have separation anxiety and when I was away from
him I couldn’t sleep because I was so use to having him next to me. As much as
he missed me while I was away, I am sure that I missed him just as much.
This last year when I moved away from the majority of my
friends, family and support systems to take my current job in Norman I was very
lonely, but I still had Boo Boo to come home to. When I was sad he made me
happy, when I was mad he brought me joy and when I was happy and everything was
going just fine, he made everything that much better.
I will miss greeting him at the door, taking road trips with
my little guy...who was the best thing in the world in a car. I will miss his
puppy kisses and how he would hold his toys in his hands like a little person. I
will miss how he would just run run run in circles; out of nowhere he would get
these little hyper puppy streaks and then stop and cough like a fat kid
(hahahaha….so funny and so true), I miss his floppy little ears and how he
would stand behind me when he was scared because he knew his mommy would
protect him. I miss him letting me know that it’s bed time. I miss having to pick my pillows up off the ground because he for some reason did not believe anyone should have a bed made. I miss how proud he would look when I would tell him how good he was. I miss him being my shadow and how he would follow me around all morning while I was getting ready for work. I miss how annoyed he would look when my alarm would go off and he wasn't ready to get up or how he was a diva dog abut the rain and the snow and looked at me like I was crazy for thinking he should be exposed to such mistreatment. I miss how he would let me just hold him like a baby and would fall asleep with his head on my shoulder. I miss his hugs and
kisses and the way he would snuggle with me at night (and really all the time), but most of all I miss
his 100% unconditional love and the fulfillment he brought to my heart, which
is now broken into a million pieces.
I don’t know that anything else in the world will ever bring
me that much joy, but I am beyond grateful for the love that he gave me for his
short little time here on this earth. It was just me and Bentley and that was
all I needed. He was my happy and I was his.
 |
| This is the very first day I met him and I knew I loved him then. |
I love you my little Boo Boo Bear…until we meet again, I am
sure you are in heaven being taken care of by my mommy, and she will love you
every little bit as much as me.
Bentley Boo Brubaker
June 21, 2011 – August 6, 2015
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