Always On My Mind

Papa Gene with an OU football...no surprise there :)

On January 30, 2013 the best man I know passed away. He was kind, thoughtful, funny and completely selfless. He had the best heart known to man and loved more than any other person I have ever met. The person to whom I am referring is my grandpa. Papa Gene had the biggest heart, so it is almost ironic to me that his heart is what caused him to no longer be with us. In all honesty I truly believed he had a whole lot of years left in him, but I suppose God knows better than I. I say this so that those of you out there who have grandparents that you love, but you do not spend as much time with as you should, do not take them for granted. When you decide that you want to go spend time with them, they may not be around.

I wrote my Papa Gene’s obituary for the funeral home’s Web site and used it (with a witty twist that I know he would have appreciated) for the funeral program, so that is not what I desire to do with this post. Instead I would prefer to spend this time to tell you all some of the things that I wish had have been said during his service. I want to give you all some insight into who it was that my Papa Gene was and why he was so important to me. This is more or less a tribute to him and maybe a great way for me to grieve. Whatever the reason, be it therapeutic or otherwise, you should continue to read this.

Growing up I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world because I had a grandpa who was funny. Not just funny to me, but apparently funny to all. He was random and would just say things completely out of the blue, such as, “Oh God, why did you make me so sexy”. He loved sports and took me to my very first OU women’s basketball game when I was around 6 years-old. He also loved food. That man could tell you about all of the best places to eat, what was good there and how much it cost. He seriously could talk to you about food and/or sports all day. So basically as long as your home carried ESPN and the Food Network you were good to go in his book.

Papa Gene also loved to watch old TV shows and movies. I would come home and he would be watching the Gene Autry show and laughing his adorable little laugh and then talking about how ridiculous one of the characters on the show was. He was a huge Elvis fan (was born on the exact same day even). I tried to convince my little brother Josh that our grandpa was Elvis and that he decided he no longer wanted to live that life so he chose to fake his death and have a life of normalcy. This was actually not a hard story for one to believe because I had “facts” to back my case. Papa Gene had side burns, an old Cadillac and was really excited about the brand new leather jacket that he had recently gotten. I don’t know if Josh really believed me or not, but I bet there was at least a few moments of pondering on his side.

My Papa was not just an old school kind of man; he was pretty down with the times too. My senior year of high school I lived at my grandparents’ house and would watch “Desperate Housewives”, not for the amazing plot line and epic character development (hahaha), but simply because he thought Eva Longoria was hot. He also liked watching “Two in a Half Men” even though my Grandma Dorma found it highly inappropriate. Poppy enjoyed old Brat Pack movies because he thought that Mollie Ringwald was adorable and he would always watch romantic comedies with me, which he always referred to as, “little teeny bopper movies”.

The best dates I have ever had in my life were with my Papa Gene. We use to go to the dollar movie, just he and I (the real theater every once in a while….side note to this…the theater closest to my grandparents’ home is called Starworld 20 Dickinson Theatre’s, in my family we simply refer to it as “The Dick”, if this is any indication for you about how serious we all are…hahaha!). We would always go see some silly little comedy and he would complain about how stupid the movie was when we would get home, but the whole time we were at the movie he would laugh and laugh. We almost always went out to eat before or after and more often than not would stop at Braum’s (Bram’s, according to Poppy) for ice cream that I was not supposed to tell Grandma Dorma about…LOL.

My Papa Gene was my date to my senior Football formal and escorted me senior night out on the football field. I was an athletic trainer in high school and no matter how hot or cold, so long as it was a home game Poppy was always there. I also did a whole lot of plays and pageants in high school, which he was not as good about attending, but he would always let me perform my competitive pieces for him before I would go to a drama contest. He was always good to ask me not just about myself, but about those who mattered to me to, because you know when you’re a “teeny bopper” your friends are the most important things to you in the world. He would even ask me about my pets because he knew they were important to me too!

When Papa got sick and went to the hospital he never complained. In fact he would always talk about how he was fine. He was ready to go home and he wanted to eat food that was not “crappy”. I went up there to see him a lot, but wish I would have gone more. We watched a lot of news and a WHOLE lot of Sportscenter. He talked to me about my Thunder team, even though he could have cared less because the basketball games on that he cared to discuss was the OU women’s team, which we talked about too. When it was just he and I at the hospital we would watch Charlie Sheen’s new show because it was, “kind of naughty”.  Truly this is where my grandpa was the best. One on one’s.

The day I received the phone call that he had not made it through the night was a hard one, for I knew my life would never ever be the same. There would now always be something missing. Not everyone knows this, but losing my Papa Gene was as much like losing a parent as some may experience. My biological father has chosen to be fairly absent in the last few years and pops in and out when it is convenient for him, but my Poppy , he on the other hand has been a consistent. He was not always great about verbalizing how it was that he felt (because in all honesty, he probably could not have gotten a word in edge-wise), but I don’t doubt at all that he loved me.

Like many girly girls, growing up I have thought about my wedding, but probably not to the extent that some have. I have no idea who the groom will be (crossing my fingers for Zac Efron), what kind of dress I’ll wear, what the color scheme will be etc… however, the one thing that I have always wanted is for my Papa Gene to be the person to officiate the ceremony. See my Papa Gene was a retired pastor, so he would not even have to be ordained online…he was legitimately legit…lol. Now I know this is something that will never happen for me and that makes me super sad because he will be missing on that day.

I should have made a point to go see him more since I have moved back closer to him, but I did not. As mentioned before, Papa Gene had a bit of a sweet tooth and Village Inn has free pie on Wednesdays. I had talked about taking him to get a free piece of pie and he said he would go. We planned it a few times and had to reschedule because of me. We never went and got that pie. It seems stupid, but brings me to tears whenever I think about it. It was not about the pie; it was about the time we would have spent together. I say this so that any of you reading this will think about these things and go get that piece of pie with your person before they are not around to have pie with.

Love Always,

Cassandra B.

"The Other C.B."