What's My Age Again?

I was recently presented with a question that I was quite perplexed by. While speaking with an adult who is obviously, by that statement older than myself, I was quickly stopped in the middle of spouting my opinion in an extremely defensive manner and advised that I did not know what I was talking about and that I should take the advice of someone who has lived a little longer (is older) and had more life experience. To this I immediately apologized and advised that in no way by expressing my opinion did I mean to offend this person. They backed off after my sentiments.

However, after this happened the question that I was then faced with was, did this person know what they were talking about? Does having more years of “life experience” make one more knowledgeable or is it the experiences that one has gone through?  I wanted to say, “Oh yeah… I don’t know what I’m talking about? You may be older than me, but I promise I’ve been through way more than you. Have you buried a parent? Did you have to tell your mom that your dad was cheating on her when you were in high school? Oh no? You didn’t? Don’t talk to me about life experience, because clearly I’ve ‘experienced’ it way more than you. “

I didn’t say any of  that though, because that would have made me look like a bratty kid and that clearly would not have done any good, so instead I apologized for obviously being offensive by expressing that they might not know what they were talking about. People hate to be wrong and that’s just a fact. The ways in which we handle being wrong is what separates us from being “bratty kids” and “life experienced adults”.  

I will be the first to tell you that nothing pains me more than to have to admit defeat. I am stubborn, competitive and more than anything prideful. It does not make my day to have to tell somebody that I was wrong and that they were right, but I always will. No matter what it is about. I will always swallow my pride and just say you’re right.

I didn’t always do this and would just avoid the conversation altogether, but I remember I once had an acquaintance of mine come to me out of the blue and apologize because she was wrong about me and had made a snap judgment. I remember thinking how very mature that was of her to admit that she was wrong and we are now friends because of her actions. Since then I have vowed to do the same thing no matter how much I don’t want to.  

The question of who was right in this situation really tried at me for several days after the incident. I had already apologized, but what for? Being “offensive” or being wrong? If it’s that I was wrong I would certainly need to offer a more substantial apology and change up my train of thought, but if it’s that the individual thought I was “offensive” than my apology was only that of a reflex and a communicated social norm; and in my opinion that person needed to develop a thicker skin. I have pondered over this for quite some time now. I’m not sure who was right and who was wrong.

Some people have been alive for several years and never really lived or experienced anything. Some people are lucky enough to be sheltered, thus naive to the world around them. Ignorance is bliss, so they say. Then there are those who feel extremely old because of the experiences in which they have been faced with.

Myself for example, I may only be 26 years old, but I feel much much older than that. Every time I am faced with a huge decision or life altering event in my life I feel like I age years in only a matter of moments. I also look back in my life and think about how I thought I knew and/or understood everything when I was 19 or 20. Now, being older and having a bit more perspective and wisdom, I realize that I did not know anything. Is that because with age comes wisdom? I also know some “adults” who have never grown up and I would swear to you that my niece who is only six, is much wiser than them. I also know some “adults” who have digressed and become so self-absorbed that I would not take their advice for anything, nor would I ever question whether they knew more than me or not.

I don’t pretend to know everything, even having gone through the things that I have. I would never go to somebody who I knew first-hand, had made life decisions that nobody their age ever should have to that I knew more than them because I was older. Same way I don’t approach married people and tell them what they are doing wrong in their marriage. I’ve never been married, so I don’t know.

With all of this said the query I was faced with never has been answered and is currently still on the table. Does age or experience make us wiser? To all of you out there that might be reading this, which is the correct answer? I would love to hear your opinions so that it will help me form my own. Until next time…be respectful of one another because at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter who is right and who is wrong, it just matters that you can be happy with yourself and how you handled the situation.

Love Always,

Cassandra B.

"The Other C.B."